I think maybe I need help. If someone is available tonight, please e-mail me. Or maybe tomorrow.
Thanks! -- G*****
Dear 'Abductees' Anonymous,
Thanks for replying. Had to go out of town for awhile today, so I'm a little late getting back with you. I'm expecting my wife back in a few minutes, so I have to keep this pretty short.
Nutshell: Have recollections (hundreds) from early childhood up until a few months back about the little sons of bitches that keep coming in my house. Jerry, I am NOT crazy. I am one of the most stable, rational people I know. I work as an editorial assistant, editing technical papers for the state, I have a wonderful wife and a really GOOD life. But I am somewhat nonplussed because as far back as last year I have woken up -- I mean REALLY WOKEN UP, as in FROM BEING ASLEEP -- found myself unable to move a muscle. I was able to see the little bastard right next to me. I wanted to shout at him, I wanted to wring his scrawny little neck. If I could have I would have killed him/her (I think it was a him), but he put this metal rod over my forhead, touched me, and images flooded my head. My wife is here now, more on that later. I'm not coming apart over this. I'm not over the edge, I just want them to stop.
Anyway, thanks. Will e-mail you again later. Thanks. -- G*****
Dear 'G*****',
Yes, I know you want them to stop and perhaps I can help you accomplish that. But it won't be easy.
It's good that you have come to terms with the reality of the experience. You know you are not dreaming, that this is very REAL.
You must accept the fact that there is nothing you can do to control the experience. Accept the fact that these 'Greys' are part of your life, and have been since early childhood. I know you're mad as hell and don't want to take it any longer, but for your own sanity, your marriage, your career, your life -- you must get past the anger and understand the fear.
Has this 'alien' being hurt you? Sure it has scared you, but has it hurt you in any way? You want to kill the "little bastard" just because it scared you by coming into your bedroom? "Wring his scrawny little neck?" The next time you get a 'visitor', why not just calm your mind and think positive thoughts. I'm perfectly serious about this, G***. Just try it and see what happens. When 'it' shows up again, allow yourself to feel the fear but force yourself to think good thoughts. Any good thought will do.
Lay there still and watch 'it' as you think good thoughts. Your anger (fear response) will subside. Try to make your positive thoughts stronger. Watch 'it' as you make your good thoughts stronger. If you can't bring yourself to think something positive, just don't think 'hurtful' ones. OK?
I would strongly suggest you read Whitley Strieber's latest book, "Breakthrough". It will really help you better understand what's going on.
Keep us posted on your progress. -- Editor
Dear 'AA',
Yes to goosebumps. I feel them whenever they are around. Also, I begin hearing differently. Almost hollowly... -- G*****
Good, now let's get on with communicating. The 'goosebumps' are some sort of electro-magnetic energy field we are feeling. As to your 'hearing differently', this is quite true. Sometimes it's almost like a 'shroud of silence' is put around your head, almost shutting off normal hearing. Most certainly, distorting it. You may also experience the constant ringing in your ears that intensifies for a brief moment. Also, just before falling asleep you may feel vibrations, sometimes at the back of your neck or head, like having a running electric razor pressed against the back of your neck or head. Also, you may experience a tight band of needle-like sensations tightening across your forehead, breaking out into a cold sweat, getting sick to your stomach. Other physical indications include heart skipping a beat or two, or racing suddenly. Panic/anxiety attacks for no apparent reason. A feeling of being out of sync with time. Waking up with a 'metallic' taste in your mouth. Or with nose-bleeds. Or with scars, bumps, bruises, rectal bleeding, rashes, or the like. These are just SOME of our physical reactions to the phenomona. I recommend you read "The Omega Project" by Kenneth Ring, Ph.D. which is an excellent study and goes into this more. -- Editor
I also begin to feel that every thought that I'm thinking, every action I commence is somehow orchestrated. I catch myself thinking like this and try to do something "spontaneous" or out of character that will break that particular frame of reference, only to realize that that too is orchestrated or "controlled" by someone else. -- G*****
What you say here is very, very true. Real-time stuff! We are being 'directed' and it feels like 'controlled'. You have free will, still, so use it to help yourself understand more. You are NOT being controlled by some-ONE else. You are being CHANGED by some-THING else! So, the next time you feel it start, immediately communicate to 'IT' that you are afraid of 'IT' and that if 'IT' doesn't help you to understand what's going on, you may die from this fear. Ask 'IT' to help you get through this fear. Ok? (I'm deadly serious here, G*****. 'IT' destroyed my life 25-years ago and caused me to lose my wife and three children who I haven't seen since because my fear of 'IT' almost drove me crazy back then). I only mention this because I don't want the same thing to happen to you. And it will unless you get 'IT' to help you, and 'IT' will!!! You say you a Catholic, well, pray to Mary, Mother of Jesus, for protection from anything evil. Since 'IT' isn't evil, good and evil being an individual perception placed upon 'IT', it won't matter. But it will make you feel better to have Her, and the Holy Ghost, with you the next time you are visited. -- Editor
For some time I thought I was paranoid, until I found a tag. Then the memories from my childhood began resurfacing, then it ALL started coming back to me. Then, and this is the clincher, I woke up one night, I mean FULLY awake, but couldn't move, and one of the bastards (I could see "him" peripherally)...-- G*****
'They' always are seen first out of the corner of your eye. Why? Nobody knows. 'They' seem to enter our dimension this way. -- Editor
It had a "wand" over my head. I couldn't move a muscle. I tried with everything I had in me to move, but still couldn't. I tried to scream. I wanted to reach out and grab its neck and strangle it. But it touched the center of my forehead with the wand and light exploded inside my head. That's when it started feeding me about a billion images. From that point on I took a major step. But now I think I've taken two steps backward... -- G*****
The fear is what's keeping you from progressing. I am still afraid, after hundreds of encounters going back over 60-years. Fear is Ok if you don't let it turn to panic and rule your life. This is easy for me to say, and will be very hard for you to overcome. Again, the next time you feel 'their' presence, tell them to please help you overcome the fear. State loudly, scream outloud if it helps, "I AM AFRAID OF YOU. MY FEAR OF YOU HINDERS OUR COMMUNICATION. YOU MUST HELP ME OVERCOME THIS FEAR, NOW!!!" Bottom line: 'They' will. -- Editor
I'll sincerely try your advice. Thanks (I mean it)...-- G*****
I know, G*****. Just follow my advice about getting some sleep, giving up stimulants, etc. You're going to be OK. All of this will get easier as you work with 'them' and me. The "blast' you received with what I affectionately call their 'magic wand', is recorded in your subconscious mind. All the knowledge you need to understand what's happening to you is available to you when you calm down enough to go inside yourself for the answers. Meditation helps. I will walk you through an effective technique once you calm down and have regained those 'two steps backwards'.
Take care, and let me know how you're doing on a day-to-day basis. -- Editor
Dear 'AA',
Okay, I will take all of your advice STARTING TONIGHT. Right now my wife and I are sitting in our living room listening to the American Music Awards. But later, after the animals are fed, I am going to try a little meditation, maybe a little self post-hypnotic (the only way I have been able to sleep so far). Before I drift off to sleep I will feel for the signs of them. I'll try to communicate the way you have told me.
Here is an interesting story that (I believe) is related. About eight years ago, when I was still living in at my mom and dads, I was sleeping in, very late in the morning because it was my day off work. I had come downstairs and plopped down on my folks bed. By this time they were gone off to work. I was sleeping on my side at the edge of the bed, facing an open window on to our back yard. It was full sunlight out, or at least was when I woke up.
This is what happened. I woke up and was eye to eye with this creature, and I couldn't move a muscle. My vision was likewise affected because it looked kind of "phased". I'm not quite sure what that means, but bear me out. I was scared out of my mind. As in the later experience I tried to scream out, but nothing came. All of a sudden it was gone and my arm was stabbing out for it at lightning speed where it "had" been. There was a still an afterimage of it that my hand passed through. I knew it was "real" on some level. Maybe not completely physical, but, IT WAS REAL. Because it was full daylight, I didn't exactly equate it with the few childhood "images" of the little munchkin guys walking past my bedroom window (another house, another town). During the munchkin experience I was five years old. I had never seen a movie before, had never bought a comic book, so there was no possibility of "contamination" from my everyday life. We didn't get a tv until the summer of that year when they made the first moon shot. They have been in my family for a long time.
I'll talk to you later. Thank you so much for listening to me, and for understanding. I'm sorry that they destroyed your family. I won't let them do it to me, whatever happens. -- G*****
Hello, G*****,
How did it go last night? A couple of things. First, you must stop trying to fight them. The impulse to strike out at them is instinctive, but you must learn to control this fear reaction. There's a great irony here. They are more afraid of us than we are of them! Try to think any positive thoughts about them when they are near.
Second, it wasn't them that destroyed my life and my family. It was how I handled the situation. Knowing nothing about the 'visitor' experience, I let a harmless 'apparition' (hooded monk-like being) drive me crazy with fear. Like you, I simply did not know how to handle what was happening to me at the time. Since then (over 30-years later) living and investigating the experience has provided many answers. I still don't know ALL the answers, but enough to help you get through your fear to where you can come by yourself to a better understanding of what is going on.
It is impossible for me to give you the "bottom-line" of the experience, because you will never believe it. It is a truth you must come to realize for yourself.
I appreciate your cooperation, and know you will be alright soon. -- Editor
Hello again, G*****
I'm really glad you got some sleep. Take another look at your writing below. It's coherent for the first time. I'm beginning to think there's hope for you after all (just kidding). -- Editor
Yes! They are hooded monk-like beings. That first apparition that I struck out at was too much like a Jawa from Star Wars, ESPECIALLY the eyes. -- G*****
I know several people in the movie industry who are also going through what we are experiencing. The 'Jawa' was, no doubt, modeled after the real thing! -- Editor
Last night I drifted off about 2:00 a.m. I went through a prayer to Mary, three Hail Marys, and a light post-hypnotic. However, the fear in me is very deep-seated. I awoke while they were here (but I couldn't see them) at about 4:00 a.m. No. I SNAPPED awake. My wife has described this "snapping" into full consciousness as Hyper-Startle Syndrome and that it is just another symptom of PTSS. She doesn't, however, believe that... -- G*****
This "snapping" back into consciousness is not a symptom of PTSS, it's your etheral body (being) being dropped back into your human body. Quite a bit like waking suddenly from a "falling dream" with your heart pounding. You are being DROPPED BACK by an external source. 3-4 AM is usually when the events occur. -- Editor
...there are any extra-terrestrial influence here. I tend to think of it as "extra-dimensional" influence. -- G*****
Yes, she is right. It IS "extra-dimensional". Strieber calls it "a hyperconscious state". Others like Valle, "multi-dimensional". No matter what the name, the place is the same. -- Editor
Anyway, I tried to communicate that my fear was very deep, and that it was interfereing with "our" communication. I then tried a deeper post-hypnotic, and drifted off to sleep. I SLEPT TIL 5:00 P.M. TODAY. I woke up with a severe headache (still have a slight one) and I had to go clear the dust from my throat. It seems that every morning I awake I have a dark viscous substance adhering to the back of my tongue. Gross. I blame it on bad health, in general. Also, the dark circles under my eyes are very prominent upon awaking. -- G*****
It's not bad health, G*****, not even tired blood. You are really getting "beat up" by these beings, meaning all the gross medical corrective procedures, slamn-dunked in and out of your body, etc. The dark circles are just from the lack of sleep. New advice: Start drinking water by the gallons. A quart even hour or so. Do NOT drink anything with caffine, especially chocolate (sorry). You have to help your body heal from the corrective procedures you are undergoing. Also, (you'll probably hate this one)-- stop eating ALL meat or dairy products immediately! (I'm not a vetetarian by nature, it was forced upon me too). Our basal metabolism is being changed and we must assist in any way we can. If in doubt what you should eat, eat only that which grows out of the ground. Within a week or two, you will be complaining you sleep TOO MUCH! -- Editor
I am convinced that the bottom-line will come only when I am ready for it, and, to be sure, I'm not really sure I want to find out the "bottom-line." As I said, I am a seeker of truth. But what I am looking for, I think, is MY truth. I'm not sure what that means, but it means something. -- G*****
Yes, G*****, you are right. Unfortunately, most people can't even begin to even consider this truth as a viable possibility. You are intelligent enough to learn, and sound determined enough to see it through to the end. Good for you! Then you will be in a position where you can help others like ourselves. That is our "mission". -- Editor
About the images and the wand: when "he" hit me with the wand, I told you it was like a billion images exploding into my mind. In one of the images the earth was small, remote, small enough to fit into the palm of my hand. -- G*****
Like viewed from space? -- Editor
I was able to encompass all information that pertained to the earth, and all that pertained to me IN THE WORLD, past, present, and future. I know that sounds crazy. Then it was like a light-speed slide show. I saw myself in the future, and was somehow an integral component in the destiny of man (or humanity). Most of the images I don't remember, but I do remember them flooding through me, and I also remember that I would always carry this "knowledge" inside me. -- G*****
Yes, now you're getting closer. These "blasts" take MONTHS to assimulate from our subconscious mind into something we can really remember, and use. Start drawing any of these gestalts. Start a journal if you haven't already. Like a dream, the memories are so elusive. Concentrate on your memory of 'somehow being an integral component in the destiny of man...' Try to visualize what you are? What you look like? Recover the memory if you can. -- Editor
Jerry, I am a very unique individual. As you know, I do have a "well-developed" ego, but the irony is I also know my place, and that place is miniscule in the great scheme of things. However, I am also somewhat of an enigma to myself. As you know, I am Catholic, yet I am also a Freemason, which is also somewhat ironic due to the antagonistic history of those two institutions towards each other. Also, while I believe in God, Jesus, and especially the Holy Spirit, I also embrace my own "concepts" of reincarnation, and past-life memory. Some would call me a hypocrite for believing both, but I do not believe they are mutually exclusive. -- G*****
I would put your church work and your Freemason activites on hold for the time being. The phenomona is beyond religion although most religions have incorporated bits and pieces of the truth. As soon as you become aware of yourself as your "soul" or "spirit", you will know what I mean. -- Editor
Also, since I was about 15 years old, I began teaching myself how to see auras. Hope this isn't turning you off in a major way. But I can see auras when I look for them. -- G*****
It would surprise me if you DIDN'T!. -- Editor
Also, I've always known that one day I would be in politics in a major way. My social-animal abilities are very finely honed, and I can get along in a crowd, and I can speak with engaging authority before groups. My background is very diverse. I took speech, acting, and debate in high school, and some in college. Skills that a politician requires. Also, I converted to Catholicism two years ago and even taught RCIA last year for those interested in becoming Catholics. It may appear that there is no pattern here, but there is! I recently learned that Texas is becoming largely Catholic. By the year 2010 the state will be 65% Catholic. That means that soon we will have a largely Catholic state house and a CATHOLIC GOVERNOR! When I learned that I immediately connected this fact with my "images" and the path I seem to be going down. -- G*****
We are being directed. Your strong sense of "ego" comes from being more than human. You have extra-ordinary skills. Telephatic and psi abilities. Ever feel that you aren't like everybody else? Different from birth somehow? Above average IQ? Look deep inside yourself, G*****. Ask yourself a thousand times, "Who am I?" The next time you go into hypnotic trance, ask these questions. Deepen the trance until your body is completely asleep, body paralyzed but with mind awake. Focus on your breathing as you do your countdown. Imagine yourself in an elevator. Feel your body going down, down. Deepen the trance until you can hold the mind awake/body asleep state. Then ask the questions, OK? -- Editor
...I know, it all sounds like rambling, and to some extent, maybe it is. But thanks, anyway for listening. I'm caught up on my sleep now and have gone off stimulants (48 hours now without coffee!) thanks to you, and I believe I see a light at the end of my particular tunnel. A week ago that tunnel was a sewer pipe, but now I'm rested, centered. G*****
Excellent! If you get a headache from the caffine withdrawal, just tough it out or take a couple of aspirins. Are you on any medication? Our bodies can not tolerate the chemicals! -- Editor
Anytime you want to talk to me on the phone you can reach me at [number deleted]. If I'm not home, my computer turns on the phone message-taker and takes a message. Also, if you would be interested, I'd like to send you a copy of a couple of the books I have written.
Bye, Jerry. I have a lot of friends, but right now I think you're probably the best friend I've got.
Yes, G*****, I know. Thank you. Now I'm the one getting emotional... -- Editor
Dear 'AA',
Thanks for that last post. Yes, I can understand your emotion. You're really helping me.
About the books. These are fictional novels I have written, three completed, and three more in the works. One of them, perhaps my best, is about wolves. I didn't realize until after I started writing it that there are parallels between "Wolves In the Country" and Whitley Strieber's book (I know, terrible title, but then again its not the cover, but what's underneath that counts), currently with Heron View Literary Agency, looking for a publisher. It's horror fiction! Remember "Wolfen"? -- G*****
Yes, I would be most interested in reading your work. -- Editor
Also, I am already a vegetarian, but I have backslid lately (cheeses, milk, eggs) for both economic reasons and peer pressure (my wife). I stopped eating meat about 1985, and my health soared. But now, I'm overweight, overwrought, and in declining health. As of your first post to me, I've gone off the cheese and stuff, and have cut out all between meal munching. Also, I used to be an aspiring drinker (of alcohol), but that came to an end when I had a few very unpleasant drunks. My wife and I met when the chain fell off my bicycle while I was on the way to a bar! After a year and a half of courting, and a huge church wedding, I've all but stopped completely. There is something to be said for the institution of marriage! -- G*****
Most definitely. My second wife, of 25-years, has provided the stability I needed to survive 'them'. She doesn't believe any of this stuff, quoting her, yet every member of her family including herself are experiencers. Her mother was hospitalized many times for losing it after seeing "lights in the sky" and "hearing voices", over my most strenuous objections. How many others are being misdiagnosed? Millions, probably. -- Editor
Yes, Jerry, I have always thought myself "special". When I was a kid living in [deleted], Texas, my mom took me up to the school one morning while it was still dark out. It was the first day of school and I was going from Kindergarten to the First Grade. Anyway, she took me to the principal's office and the principal gave me a very extensive test. He showed me hundreds of pictures, and asked me to tell him what each of the pictures were. It was not a Rohrscach test because these were real things. I remember distinctly (how many people do you know that can remember all the way back that far - I can remember things from when I was 2!) the picture of an anchor (as in AVAST, WEIGH ANCHOR), a covered wagon, and other things. I thought I was being given the test because I was stupid. I couldn't relate well to the other kids. Often they could not understand me. I thought the problem was at my end. That maybe I was a Forrest Gump, or something. I wasn't until I was almost grown that I asked my folks about it, and they said that my intelligence level was far superior to any other kid in the school, but because there were no accelerated classes for me, and because they wanted me to have a "normal" life, I went all the way through school "normally". I am adverse to going to Mensa because 1) I am into my own ego, yes, but not only for myself, not to show off to others; and 2) I can't relate well to the Mensas I do know. To me they are boring. All the "Hey, by damn, I'm SMART!" stuff is too much. I have my own way in my own little world. I write books (the REAL height of egotism!). Yes, Jerry, I think I'm pretty bright, at least now. But that doesn't really MEAN anything, except that it gives me a little more insight in light of what's been going on with me since childhood (visitation).
Also, also, a bit off the subject now, when I was a kid I used to compose symphonies in my head while I was out swinging on the swingset. Later, I took violin in college and joined the orchestra. After a short time there, I left music behind because it did not fit in with my "destiny". Now, I'm composing music in my spare time (when I'm not writing to you), and some of it is the same old stuff. But, it's pretty good. -- G*****
The parallels between your life and mine are amazing, but understandable. All the above doesn't surprise me at all. You and I fit the typical profile to a 'T'. I woke up suddenly one morning several years ago with the compulsion to play the violin. No musical background whatsoever. Couldn't read a note. Rushed out and bought a used 'fiddle' and several months later joined the local symphony!!! I had heard "music" of the spheres in my "dreams", frequencies between planets, mathematical relationships expressed in musical notation. Only the violin could come close to duplicating that sound that I needed to duplicate. Most of the old masters, the original writers of classical music, captured the "essence" of the sound, especially Bach.
The reason we turn to music is because we just don't have the language to describe the message. "Your words are a hinderance", the visitors told Strieber. As a journalist, and freelance writer (now retired) -- I struggle with how to put it into WORDS so others like you can understand. The 'visitors' have told me to "show and tell", which took on a literal meaning when I acquired a computer and knew I had to publish a page. Not easy for someone who had NO computer skills last year! "Show 'n tell" also means -- "keep the communication at an elementary level. -- Editor
I have a lot of questions for you, Jerry. I know that you cannot answer all of them, or maybe even some of them. Basically, these are questions that I'm really asking myself:
To what extent have all of the decisions that have brought me to my current path
in life been directed by "them"? -- G*****
ALL OF THEM! But this doesn't negate our free-will. Call it a gentle (sometimes not so gentle) 'arm-twisting' of your subconscious, pulling you in a certain direction that sets up a 'chain-of-events'. To your ego it feels like you are in control. You can choose to do anything you want. But why do you choose only certain things out of an infinite number of possibilities? If we follow our "intuitions" as opposed to our emotions or cognitive thinking processes, we are following "directions". But in order to really understand this, and know that it's true, you first must experience yourself as something other than "G*****". Have you? A simple OBE would do? It would convince you beyond a shadow of a doubt that we are more than what we appear to be, that we are integrated being(s). As this aspect of the 'alien' phenomona is my area of special research, and because I have experienced myself on numerous occasions 'out-of-body', I know exactly what it feels like to become one's "soul" or "spirit" and to interact with the 'visitors' in another time or place, here and now. I have experienced myself as a white, smoke-like presence drifting into my newborn baby-body, goingthrough the wooden headboard of the crib, seeing with 360-degree vision, going downinto the headof the baby. When asked by the hypnotist how it felt to be in the baby, to be the baby -- I reacted with anger, mad as hell for being trapped in this weak, white baby. I did not like it at all! When regressed back to the source of my anger, I suddenly found myself reaching up to touch the face of a large 'Grey', who I called Father!!! At the moment my hands almost touched his face, I felt electric-like impulses charge throughout my body. I completely broke down, crying uncontrollably, for I KNEW it was true. I was one of them!!! Mind-boggling stuff for a hard-headed Norwegian and objectively trained investigative reporter, editor, and publisher of weekly newspapers.
So, getting back to your question, it's now obvious that this isn't about "them" vs. "us". If you can accept that you are one of "them", then your question is answered. But don't just take my word for it, read what others like ourself are saying on 'Abductees' Anonymous. One experiencer hit it right on: "TWO BUT ONE!" (Dual Identity). But duality, a 'dual' nature, is somewhat of an oversimplification of the phenomona. -- Editor
My "insights" and "images" lead me to believe that we (as a nation, a race, and a planet) are going to be in for some real trouble shortly after the new millenia begins. While I do not really count myself as a milleniarianist (sp?), I wonder if you or others have "seen" the same. Why me? -- G*****
Many others like ourselves have been shown the same "dooms-day" scenario, and I would like you to write about your "insights" and "images" that lead you to believe something catastrophic is going to happen soon. I have been shown the earth breaking into two pieces, a giant black cloud billowing up from between the two halves, coming up toward the 'Ship' as we raced away in great haste. But in the very next instant, I saw a "newEarth" formed out of the black cloud-like thing, a 'golf-ball' sized round object encased with a white protective covering closing around this newly formed "planet-like" globe, almost like the oldEarth had given birth to a newEarth. I was now on the surface, holding hands with human-children, laughing, jumping through tall grass. The hand that these children held was that of a large 'Grey'!!!
"Why any of us?" -- Editor
There are other questions, but I'll wait 'til later. Also, I would really be interested in hearing some of your stories. I know, I know. You probably don't want to scare me with those yet! But, when the time comes, I'll be ready. -- G*****
The 'scary part' is just about over for you, G*****. -- Editor
Gotta go, now. Thanks, and God Bless. -- G*****
In closing, and to pique your curiosity a bit more G*****, there is a 'group consciousness' involved here. Also, I would like your permission to put some of our discussions on the page so that those who also are having a hard time getting past the fear, will be able to benefit from our private, email correspondence. Will delete any personal stuff. Only you will know it's you. OK? -- Editor
Dear 'AA',
It happened again last night. Specifically, this is what happened. My wife and I were lying in bed, talking into the wee hours of the morning (2:00 a.m.). I had to get up and take a couple of tums for a little acid reflux I've been having. I decided to go ahead and lay down on the couch (we have a VERY comfortable new couch in our living room so as to give her a chance to nod off. I lay down, read about eight or ten pages of a paperback, then, before the words started to run together - which is my signal for lights out (although we always sleep with the lights on) - I closed my eyes. I instantly became numb, first in the fingers, then spreading like wildfire throughout my body. Suddenly I was somewhere else and couldn't open my eyes, but - and here's the clincher - I was still FULLY AWAKE! Because of our recent correspondence, I knew what was going on! I kept say in my mind: ((please please please I'm afraid, oh I'm afraid, please don't)) then there was this terrific mind-boggling pain in my abdomen (somewhat above my stomach but below the sternum) and I tried to cry out. When crying out didn't work I began communicating (?): ((please... it hurts hurts bad)) because, oh God, it did hurt. All of ten seconds later I was snapped right back and I sat bolt upright. This experience REALLY REALLY happened to me. It's too much to believe, and yet I KNOW it is true. I am being visited. My "etheric" body IS being taken at night. Some kind of surgery is occurring. I must say that I don't like it. -- G*****
You'd better come to the realization that this is REAL, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. The stronger the ego, the harder it is to give up fighting and the false assumption that you are in control of your life. You're NOT! Control is an illlusion... -- Editor
You have talked about "corrective medical procedures" and "being beaten up" by these procedures. If I am now, or are becoming, something "more than human", I would like to know what it is? -- G*****
In simple English, you are MORE than human. An integrated being, part human and part 'alien'. Your very soul is of an 'alien' nature. Your subconscious mind is of an 'alien' nature. You are more than what you think you are. The physical changes are necessary if we are to survive the coming tranformation. We will be leaving soon (few years at best by all indications). Many will survive this change from our present dimension to the other in full awareness of the process. Others will be changed and never know what hit them. -- Editor
I believe that I have also come to a major realization: it may not be me, specifically that is being changed so that I might fulfill some kind of destiny. It is something having to do with the race. With my genes. I think that we, as a race, are being altered, changed. But, it doesn't bear out. -- G*****
Wishful thinking, G*****. No, it doesn't bear out from the images we are seeing. -- Editor
I am married now, as you know. Have been for five years. I'm 31. My lovely wife is 46 (she doesn't look it, she looks my age!). While we have been doing everything we can to get pregnant, it hasn't happened, and I have just about resigned myself to very large possibility that we will never have children. What, then, is the purpose behind this manipulation. If my genes don't continue, then why? The only rational possibility that I can see is that they are also taking my sperm for use elsewhere in their continued "experimentation" or program. But, somehow, I don't think that this is the case. I don't think they are taking anything from me. They are doing something TO me. -- G******
You are still locked into a "them" against "us" cold war mind-set. You and your genes will survive. This is not "experimentation". It is a program to save as many of us as possible before the whole world blows up. Be thankful you are astute enough to almost figure it out. When 'they' come again, calm yourself. CALM yourself. 'They' are not hurting you intentionly. You yourself as 'alien', alter-ego if you wish, volunteered to be in the shell of a body you call "G*****" before you were born. Now you're going to go back to where you came from. But your present body must be "tuned" for the trip.
All of this goes beyond bizzare. None of it seems possible. But you KNOW it is happening!!! Go with it!
You're frustrating me, G*****. Your fear and your sense of self keeps you from figuring it out. Read everything on the page. You are not unique. What is happening to you is happening to thousands, if not millions of others, and every one of us experiences the similar symptoms. Many just don't realize it because they've buried it so deep in their subconscious mind. Ignorance is bliss, they say. But the fact remains, we are being biologically changed in preparation of a fascinating transformation.
Think of your 'visitor' as your Guardian Angel. Essentially, that's what "s-he" is. Again on the bright side, you would readily pay big bucks for these medical procedures here on Earth, paying through the nose for a lot more pain.
Did you get the message I sent this morning? No mention of it here? And try to relax! -- Editor
Dear 'AA',
My mail server was down for most of the day so I probably missed your morning post. I'm sorry about the fear. It is very, very deep seated. It is a terror that I have had since childhood. I write horror fiction. It is that part of that is frightened, scared beyond belief that does it. I slept with the covers over my head until I was 12. TWELVE! So please, have patience with me. I have extemely vivid nightmares. Now I know where they come from.
Please re-send this mornings mail to me. I think I probably need it.
About the world blowing up. I don't want to know. Not yet. Right now it's too terrible to face. I've known these changes were coming for a long time, maybe all my life. I remember one vivid image, almost like memory, when I was very small. In this image there were a few people with me: friends, survivors, I don't know. Anyway we were watching "the end of the world" right before our eyes. It was like sitting at an overlook on the hood of your car and watching a city getting blown up. It was very vivid and it has kind of defined my life. I've always known that I would be in that very situation one day, exactly how it was in that image (dream/foresight/whatever).
Okay. I'll keep trying. Thanks for your help, and please, again, be patient with me. -- G*****
Dear 'AA',
Thanks for re-sending this mornings post. It was, I think, perhaps the most important that you have sent by far. I think I can be calm now. I will try. It is quite a lot to assimilate, but I think I knew this all along; you just reaffirmed much of it for me.
I'm not averse to you using our posts if it will help others. I trust your judgement.
Jerry, I am kind of leery about going to a hypnotist myself. I know, you haven't told me I should. It's just, I'd like to find out more myself first. Last night was major buku REALITY. The implications are still settling into me. I will open myself up to them more.
I have so many more questions, but, right now, I need to assimilate the answers. The implications are that we have as short of time here as I expected. I need to start putting my "house" in order. I need to work on getting back in top physical condition, while opening myself more to this experience. In my last post (this evening, before I received this mornings post) I told you about my fear. Now (as in right this minute) I can see a few ways that I can begin to defeat it. I have always had the ability to bring significant changes in my life when I put myself to it. What is the old saying: "I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul." To a very great extent, I believe this, and it has been a guide to my life. Also, another thing I need to do is get back into my spiritual life (not in church, but in HERE [he says, pointing to his head]). What I mean is that I have always known about the mind-body-spirit connection. It has been a long time since I was able to travel in the astral, but over the last ten years it has been fear hindering me. Also, I'm going to take your advice (TONIGHT!) and start keeping a journal, so that I can put down these gestalts, these images and this knowledge that is given to me.
I leave the antagonistic behind me now. I am going to "become", now. Become the "person" that I know I am supposed to be. Open to the world, loving everything and everyone in it.
I have always been a lover of life, a bird-watcher, a sunset climber. I feel that with this new-found knowledge that I have an obligation to something higher than myself.
Whew! Anyway, I'll go back to the beginning and work it all out.
Thanks Jerry, God Bless You. -- G*****
Dear G*****,
You have just taken a giant step forward, congratulations! Take care, Jerry. -- Editor